I seriously got home less than an hour ago.
I arrived at school this morning at 7:30. I left at 8:42.
It was open house tonight where hmmm....9 parents decided to come out to meet teachers.
Sigh.
I know people work. I know it was raining. I know that some parents don't care.
Seriously though - 9?
There are so many times throughout the school year where I either talk to parents, watch my students, or both and raise my eyes to heaven and thank God that I was blessed with parents that had the good sense to take on the challenge of being good parents. Over the last 8 years, I have lamented with other teachers as to why our job is getting more and more difficult....and every time, the answer comes back to the parents.
When I was 4, my mom was making worksheets for me to read, match colors, shapes, learn to write my letters...she was listening to NPR in the car, she had me watch Sesame Street, Mr. Rodgers and then booted my butt outside where I was left to my own imagination. My mom and dad said NO a lot...but I learned my boundaries. School was extremely important and I was expected to do well...and I didn't want to find out what would happen if I didn't. I was stubborn and probably a total pain in the ass...and I spent a lot of time sitting in the steps thinking about how much I couldn't stand my parents for not letting me wear short skirts, get weird piercings, stay out late with people they didn't know...or get an allowance.
But look at me.
I have a master's degree (almost), I read all the time, I listen to NPR in the car, I appreciate the things that I have because I worked for them. I am an intelligent human being that is successful and self-sustaining. I have the self-esteem to have married a wonderful man and to not let people get to me (too much at least).
I look at my students and after getting over how pissed I am at them for driving me crazy that day, I feel sorry for them. Some of them have parents like mine - that work hard to be PARENTS. That know what's best for their kids and although it's hard and unpleasant sometimes, they make the difficult choices that will help them later in life when they are my age and will appreciate it.
I look at the rest who act up because they want attention. Who go home to all the things that they ever wanted because their parents didn't have the stamina to stand up to them and say no. Who sit in a chair and say ' I don't care - call my mom' because even though I do....they don't have the energy to punish them or don't know how or don't care enough to. I hate those lazy parents....it makes my job harder yes - but these kids didn't choose this...they are like this because you couldn't handle being the adult in your child's life. It was more important that they like you and stopped bothering you.
Sigh. I wonder how long I will be able to do this job.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
ARG
Tonight was one of the nights where I wish I had chosen another career path...
While being in my new district has massive improvements over the last one, I have managed to get all my classes under control except my last period of the day. Within that class, is one of the most frustrating groups of children I have ever faced. Honestly, they are all probably fine one on one but the particular mixture of students which I face every day is a nightmare. They all have insane issues with practically everything - they wait until the very minute to which I start speaking to start asking questions, wanting to go to the bathroom, wanting papers they are missing, wanting to talk, wanting to go to their locker....it's absolutely maddening. I have spoken to the class time and time again to take care of these things before they come to class because all I am going to say is NO....yet they continue to drive me CRAZY.
Today I had to deal with one particular lady who has been a reoccurring issue over and over again....not just with me but with other teachers as well. She manages to try to get away with whatever she can in class and then argues to no end about whether or not she is going to do it and the million reasons why she will not.
It's insane....and it makes me want to pull my hair out.
I have spoken to mom, who was very clear in letting me know that she wanted to know if there were any other issues.
Evidently, I was incorrect.
Anyways, class went horribly wrong and there were more lovely confrontations with her, the last of which ended with 'my mom's gonna come up here and talk to the principal and get you fired'...which is where I pretty much lost it and told her that I truly was scared now....
Not the most mature response....but I was DONE
I called mom later to let her know and left a message....she called me back quickly when I first spoke to her so I tried her again when I left school ( at 7:45 at night). I left another quick message asking her to call me....to which she did and the conversation ended with 'I'll be up there tomorrow before school starts'.
Lovely.
Needless to say, I was not in a good mood when I finally got home at 8:45.
I promptly screamed at both my husband and dog and whatever cat was closest and then broke down into a pretty hysterical crying fit....which lasted over an hour, until my husband put me in a bath and made me watch something on Netflix to calm me down.
I feel like I am 23 again - helpless and alone in my first year of teaching - I have not wanted to quit my job again as badly as that entire first year. I got used to being bitched out at my old district but I had been there so long, people knew me and knew that I did everything that I could to help my students and backed me up. Now, I'm somewhere new, where no one knows me or what I do to try and make sure my students walk out smarter than they were at the beginning of the year. I am scared as to what this woman who 'wants my job' is going to bring tomorrow with her nasty nasty daughter. I'm afraid I am going to turn back into the meek, compliant, apologetic person that I was my first year instead of sticking up for myself and taking it to the chest because I know I'm right.
I'm not going to sleep well tonight....
While being in my new district has massive improvements over the last one, I have managed to get all my classes under control except my last period of the day. Within that class, is one of the most frustrating groups of children I have ever faced. Honestly, they are all probably fine one on one but the particular mixture of students which I face every day is a nightmare. They all have insane issues with practically everything - they wait until the very minute to which I start speaking to start asking questions, wanting to go to the bathroom, wanting papers they are missing, wanting to talk, wanting to go to their locker....it's absolutely maddening. I have spoken to the class time and time again to take care of these things before they come to class because all I am going to say is NO....yet they continue to drive me CRAZY.
Today I had to deal with one particular lady who has been a reoccurring issue over and over again....not just with me but with other teachers as well. She manages to try to get away with whatever she can in class and then argues to no end about whether or not she is going to do it and the million reasons why she will not.
It's insane....and it makes me want to pull my hair out.
I have spoken to mom, who was very clear in letting me know that she wanted to know if there were any other issues.
Evidently, I was incorrect.
Anyways, class went horribly wrong and there were more lovely confrontations with her, the last of which ended with 'my mom's gonna come up here and talk to the principal and get you fired'...which is where I pretty much lost it and told her that I truly was scared now....
Not the most mature response....but I was DONE
I called mom later to let her know and left a message....she called me back quickly when I first spoke to her so I tried her again when I left school ( at 7:45 at night). I left another quick message asking her to call me....to which she did and the conversation ended with 'I'll be up there tomorrow before school starts'.
Lovely.
Needless to say, I was not in a good mood when I finally got home at 8:45.
I promptly screamed at both my husband and dog and whatever cat was closest and then broke down into a pretty hysterical crying fit....which lasted over an hour, until my husband put me in a bath and made me watch something on Netflix to calm me down.
I feel like I am 23 again - helpless and alone in my first year of teaching - I have not wanted to quit my job again as badly as that entire first year. I got used to being bitched out at my old district but I had been there so long, people knew me and knew that I did everything that I could to help my students and backed me up. Now, I'm somewhere new, where no one knows me or what I do to try and make sure my students walk out smarter than they were at the beginning of the year. I am scared as to what this woman who 'wants my job' is going to bring tomorrow with her nasty nasty daughter. I'm afraid I am going to turn back into the meek, compliant, apologetic person that I was my first year instead of sticking up for myself and taking it to the chest because I know I'm right.
I'm not going to sleep well tonight....
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
New School, New Outlook on My Job...
It's been awhile....but I felt compelled tonight to write because I made several parent phone calls tonight and ALL of them were good...okay, one was because the kid pulled his jeans down to expose his lovely under-garments....BUT the rest were positive.
As a teacher, it's very hard to remind yourself that the kids that you usually have an issue with have parents that have been hearing this for a long time. I try so very very hard to make as many positive phone calls early in the year (sometimes before I run out of positive things to say) so that I create a 'team' feeling around that child - meaning, both the parent and I are on the 'same side' and the kid won't be able to play one against the other.
This year, I really want to start off on the right foot in my new school and with my new, more active parents. I called several parents and just raved about their kids. They were stunned and so happy and were so appreciative that I had called so early in the year. One of my students, who lost his father last year, was beginning to have some trouble so I spoke to him mom to let her know that I was keeping an eye on him and would do my best to make sure he had a good year. She explained how the last year had been and was just so wonderful and grateful that I had called her. Every phone call ended with me with a smile on my face and a good feeling inside.
I know that these calls are creating 'money in the bank' for later in the year when I do begin to have issues with certain students. And while they take a lot of planning and thought, it is completely worth the time. I want these kids to know that I mean business and there is no way they are coming in and screwing around when we have work to do. I am making the MOST of this year.
The backlash of this entire week is that I am exhausted. I feel like it's my first year again. Maneuvering through new paperwork, new computer programs that DON'T work, different procedures....it's a maze of craziness and challenges. I end up feeling very frustrated, not because of the kids, but because I feel like I am bothering people so much with my constant questions and ignorance to what is going on. I feel helpless and slightly blind...and blind-sighted sometimes....
I am exhausted.
To anyone who reads this who isn't a teacher but has children....please reward your child's teachers (unless they completely suck and don't deserve it) and let them know that you appreciate everything they do, or try to do. There are teacher appreciation gifts out there for a reason!
Good night!
As a teacher, it's very hard to remind yourself that the kids that you usually have an issue with have parents that have been hearing this for a long time. I try so very very hard to make as many positive phone calls early in the year (sometimes before I run out of positive things to say) so that I create a 'team' feeling around that child - meaning, both the parent and I are on the 'same side' and the kid won't be able to play one against the other.
This year, I really want to start off on the right foot in my new school and with my new, more active parents. I called several parents and just raved about their kids. They were stunned and so happy and were so appreciative that I had called so early in the year. One of my students, who lost his father last year, was beginning to have some trouble so I spoke to him mom to let her know that I was keeping an eye on him and would do my best to make sure he had a good year. She explained how the last year had been and was just so wonderful and grateful that I had called her. Every phone call ended with me with a smile on my face and a good feeling inside.
I know that these calls are creating 'money in the bank' for later in the year when I do begin to have issues with certain students. And while they take a lot of planning and thought, it is completely worth the time. I want these kids to know that I mean business and there is no way they are coming in and screwing around when we have work to do. I am making the MOST of this year.
The backlash of this entire week is that I am exhausted. I feel like it's my first year again. Maneuvering through new paperwork, new computer programs that DON'T work, different procedures....it's a maze of craziness and challenges. I end up feeling very frustrated, not because of the kids, but because I feel like I am bothering people so much with my constant questions and ignorance to what is going on. I feel helpless and slightly blind...and blind-sighted sometimes....
I am exhausted.
To anyone who reads this who isn't a teacher but has children....please reward your child's teachers (unless they completely suck and don't deserve it) and let them know that you appreciate everything they do, or try to do. There are teacher appreciation gifts out there for a reason!
Good night!
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