Need....mental....break....

My head has been so full of things I have wanted to write about yet when I actually find time....at 7:45 on a Sunday morning....I end up staring at this blank box and wonder what focus I should commit to.

I know I need to write more. As a child and up until about 7 years ago, I was an avid journal writer. I always had a 'diary' where I recorded the events of my life, mused on thoughts that passed through my head and was able to express feelings that would never verbalize themselves in conversation. It was good for me....as someone who routinely has to deal with anxiety and depression, journal writing was a way that I felt I was able to keep in touch with my inner self. Yet, I cannot seem to make that commitment to myself...because I am so freaking busy.

School has calmed down a little....I am beginning to budget my time a little more wisely and get more work done at school without staying really late. The first nine weeks is over....and I am now starting to figure out the kids that know the material and then the kids that are just really good at faking that they know the material. That means it's time for new seating charts and a renewed focus on those kids....and looking for more challenging opportunities for the kids that finish their work quickly or understand the material right away. It's a new fun thing in education called differentiating your lesson....which on paper makes sense....make sure you are teaching your lessons so that everyone is challenged and understands the material. Well, when you have a kid in your room who reads on an 11th grade level sitting next to a kid who read at a 3rd grade level, that can make things interesting....and don't think that I can have the higher kid help the lower one....middle school remember? Cooperation doesn't exist in middle school.

With school beginning to slow down, I am working hard on getting a gym schedule worked back into my routine. I have gained weight slowly as school started and that SUCKS. Like it sucks on so many levels. Everyone in my family is pretty thin and in good shape....I look at pictures of us and I stand out as the one with the rounder figure and face...and I hate it. But with the crazy schedule I have had and the added stress of everything, getting to the gym has not happened....and I haven't been eating healthy either because I've been so freaking busy. I'm being pulled between the 'home' direction so that I can see my husband and dog and cats whenever I can and then school is the other polarizing part of my life...I spend at least 9 hours a day there. I have to start cutting one down...and it really shouldn't be home. I did make it to the gym yesterday and did the treadmill for 35 minutes on constantly changing inclines....let's just say 17 sucks and my legs paid dearly for it.

So here I sit. My husband is still asleep, the dog it sitting next to me and I'm wondering what else I could write. Since nothing substantial comes to mind, here are a few random observations that I just need to get out of my head...

I baked yesterday - a pumpkin roll....and aside from accidentally spilling more lemon juice than what was needed, it actually tastes okay.

Our dog is just getting over a bacterial infection....dogs with diarrhea are not fun to have around....so after $120 at the vet and meds galore, he finally pooped this morning something looking remotely normal....aside from this entry, it has been a highlight.

I am finally getting on a higher level coed volleyball team....one of my friends got together some of the best people we've played with to form a 'super team' for the winter season....while I am probably one of the weaker ones on the team, I know it will help me grow as a player and keep me motivated to improve the shape I'm in. As long as I don't get hit in the face....

The holidays are coming up. While I am excited to see family, it's a lot of traveling and I hate that. I dream of a day where we can spend a holiday in our own house.

I miss my friends back home and wish things were different.


Well, the dog just farted in my face so I'm going to MOVE. And try harder to write.