First of all, let me just start this entry with the FACT that the toothpaste/toothbrush 'WISP' things are quite possibly the most awesome invention this century. Besides the fact that it is totally affordable (unlike the many other totally awesome inventions this century), it works! I used one when I was in NYC and took the overnight Chinabus to get there ( that's another story for another entry) and couldn't get the courage to brush my teeth in a public restroom....and I used another one tonight on my way to volleyball and I just felt gross mouth-wise (might of had something to do with that onion-laden meatloaf I had tonight....)
Anyways, the title of tonight's entry is perfect for the last Thursday before heading back to school next week. After 7 years in the same district, I will be switching to a new school system and begin new teacher training next week. It is a very big change for me....I started as a teacher in this first district and while it was extremely difficult a lot of the time to find reasons to stay, they did help me develop into the teacher I am now.
I went into teaching because I wanted to make a difference.
Duh
That's what we all say isn't it? No one tells people they wanted to go into teaching because they just didn't feel like wearing a uniform but do the same work as a prison guard....or that they loved being told on a week to week basis by numerous people (administration, parents, students, LAWMAKERS) that they just weren't that important and had no idea what they were doing.
No - we are called to this profession because we want to make a difference. In the lives of children. One of the biggest lessons I have learned in the last few years of teaching is that when you 'make a difference' in the life of a child, you are making an investment....sometimes one that you will never see again....and sometimes one that will eventually cash out and pay off....usually in a time that you really need it.
Where am I going with this?
Okay, so I was in Walgreen's tonight picking up pictures from some disposable cameras that I found in a drawer ( kind of scared to look at them). This Walgreen's happens to be the one closest to me and also is located in the same community that I taught in for 7 years. I started teaching 7th graders in middle school and stayed there for 5 years. The past 2 years I was moved up to the high school and had the opportunity to teach ( and teach and teach) some of the same students. I also got the chance to see the first two classes of 7th graders that I taught graduate (I won't go into the number of them that actually made it...our high school had a 56% graduation rate).
In my last year at the high school, my 7th year of teaching, one of my kids from my first year teaching saw me at Walgreen's. He got excited and came up to me and asked if I remembered him. I told him of course and to prove it, I said his full name. He grinned - I asked what he was up to. He said that he was graduating this year and that he was working for a year and then would be going to community college. I said that I was so proud of him and seeing that he had a uniform on, I asked him if he was working at Walgreen's. He said that he was doing stocking but was hoping to get a better position permanently in the store. He looked around and said that he needed to get back to work and I told him good luck and went on my way.
Did I remember this kid? Oh yes.
It was my first year teaching...and it was HORRIBLE. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. This school system is ROUGH. Low income kids, kids with no parents, parents in jail, just everything....and I had NO idea how to connect with them.
It was my second day at school. SECOND DAY and I was attempting to walk my class back from lunch. This particular class had a lot of students that did not make it to graduation....and they showed it. They were all over the hall, shouting, punching each other....and here are other teachers, not looking at them in disgust but at ME in disgust because I obviously had no idea what I was doing. I was assigned to take them to the bathroom after lunch in the 7th grade hall but I just wanted them back in the classroom where the evidence of my incompetence could be well hidden. I ended up letting them go in groups (first mistake) to the bathroom while I worked with the rest of those idiots in the classroom. One particular group of boys somehow made it past me into the restroom without me being able to pick out the ones that I should have known couldn't handle being a small space on their own (second mistake).
The next thing I know, I'm in the hallway, watching for them to come back and this particular boy, who had been a new student (poor soul) to the system, walked around the corner, his shirt covered in blood and continuing to stream out his nose. I have never been so scared in my life - he walked down the hall, trying to hold his nose shut and I panicked! I asked him what happened and he said that he had been jumped in the bathroom by a few of the other boys. I was in disbelief! This actually happened to kids? Are you kidding me?
The worst part was that I had NO IDEA what to do. My 7th grade classroom was the furthest in the school away from the office (not kidding). I didn't know the number to the office and I couldn't leave my students unattended ( I probably wouldn't have had a classroom to come back to). So I continued to panic....I kept the boy outside my room with some paper towels and ran down to the next science teacher's room who was my friend and was almost crying by the time she answered the door. All I did was point to the poor boy in the hall, bleeding into this paper towels. She looked at me and asked "Did you press the button?"
Button?
"Button?" I asked in puzzlement. "What button?"
"The panic button to contact the office" she replied calmly and walked down to my room to show me a small back button in the top corner of my room.
Are you freaking kidding me? A PANIC BUTTON? Where the hell was I teaching????
Anyways, the situation was eventually handled. I made it through the year ( and pressed that button so many times it was embarrassing) and eventually got to a point in my teaching that I would make it almost the entire year without pressing it for emergencies.
So I remembered this kid.
Back to my trip to Walgreen's tonight. I am picking up my pictures and I look up to the wall and see his picture - grinning at me like always - as a member of the photo staff. It was a wonderful feeling.
I may not have 'saved that kid's life' or made a huge difference but he made a big one in mine. And here he was, graduated and ready to start making his own difference in life.
I say that was a payoff :-)
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